3 Weeks

A couple of days ago I thought this was the longest couple of weeks of my life. But now I'm starting to settle in to this lazy mode. I worry I may never come out of it. I've forgotten how to work. We might have to hire a house keeper/nanny.

Frustration

Does forgetting for a split second ruin a week's worth of healing? I let the dog out, open the sliding door, pull too hard, too fast, and now I'm back to square one. Well, not quite, but it just feels like I'm not healing as fast as I should be.  I'm no good at being a cripple. I feel like I'm wasting the efforts of my family and friends who do so much for us.

Two weeks!

I'm so happy to be done with my first two weeks. The shifting of bone against bone is gone. Pain is under control. Everything is great! In two weeks I'll be able to lift a whopping 10 pounds! That's pretty much anything in the kitchen and laundry. I'm excited to not be a burden.

I'm actually feeling good today. I've had some bad days, but today was great. I went to my first cardiac rehab appointment. It felt so good to exercise again! Although they made me go slow and only work my legs. It still felt good

I want to give a big thanks to everyone who has helped us. This time of year is so busy for everyone, but especially for Brigham. His workload at UPS during the holidays is crazy and he's had deadlines at his architectural job too. Thank you for everything!!!

What I Wish I'd Known Before Heart Surgery

Excruciating pain this morning.

1. Do not go off pain killers just because you feel good. Because:
a) You have to sleep on your back in a reclined position and cannot adjust yourself. This gets painful. You do not sleep. Your muscles tighten into horrible knots. You wake in intense pain. Stay on drugs.
b) Strong pain killers take away the need for a good morning stretch. You know the kind that is involuntary and usually feels so good. These stretches are bad for broken sternums. I'd gotten the shifting of bone against bone to stop. Now it's back. A week's worth of healing down the tube.
c) Pain pills make you tired. Sleep makes you heal.

2. Realize that the doctor is going to wrap your sternum with wire. This is permanent. If you have a sensitivity to nickel tell your doctor. There is nothing worse than being allergic to something that will never go away. I'm not sure if this is my problem yet. All I know is I was miserable this morning. Took pain pills and an allergy pill just in case.

3. I should have been holding my heart pillow during all movements to speed healing. I should have been informed of this upon discharge.

One Week Down!

I'm doing a little better each day. Only 3 more weeks until I can drive again, lift more than 5 pounds, and raise my hands over my head!

I am married to an angel. I used to think my husband was not the least bit romantic. I was wrong. I just didn't know the meaning of the word. Romantic is when he loves you so much he wants to do everything for you. When he uses the softest voice to wake you up for pain meds and helps you get up so you don't get blood clots. When he thanks you for being nice because it's the middle of the night, even though he's tired and had to wake up too. When you have to convince him that washing the table won't hurt. When he carries a recliner up the stairs, throws his back out, and tries to hide it do you don't feel bad. Love this man.

December

A: Are you sleeping on my bed or your bed?
B: My bed, because it's more wider. (?)

Dora the Explorer DS game: Say backpack! Louder! Say backpack!
B: Backpack
N: Bridger, you can say anything
A: Really?
N: Yeah, one time I said, sooo-she! I wish we had sushi.

Sunday night, after fast and testimony meeting, Natalynn said she wanted to fast and pray for me to get better. Prayer does work, by the way. It's been scientifically proven and it's helped me tremendously. Thank you all very much!

Today Natalynn and Bridger cleaned up the basement without being asked. Amazing kids. Also, I was so tired tonight I could barely get myself to read Natalynn's second book. She looked up at me and said, "mom, you don't have to read it." Sweetest girl on the planet.

Dec 15: Natalynn wanted to fast for me. Sweet girl. She went until 11 a.m. and said, "I'm not even hungry!" But I was eating soup at the time and thought she was probably giving herself a pep talk. So we counted the hours since she had eaten dinner: 15 hours! We both thought that was a lot for a 6 year old. Counting the hours made her realize the significance of her efforts. We prayed, enjoyed the Spirit, and ate lunch. Thank you Natalynn for your love and example of faith. I love you!

Bridger to Natalynn playing DS: You're actually pretty good at this game. I have a hard time with this game. Natalynn to Bridger: I love you more than anyone can count.

Dec 16 Bridger almost hurt me, but I assured him that he was such a good listener when I asked him to get off, that he didn't hurt me. He declined the offer from Daddy to walk to the bus stop, "No, I want to stay and make sure Mommy's ok."

Home Now!

I'm doing a little better each day. My husband won't let me do anything! They gave us a very serious talk before releasing me about what will happen if I lift anything or move suddenly. Brigham is following their every word, love him, but driving me nuts! I guess he likes me or something.

The kids are so sweet to me. They give me the softest hugs and love to help me.

My family and friends are the absolute best. I have more offers of help than I know what to do with. Thank you everyone! Love you all

My Adventure

I woke up Tuesday morning and prayed. I was reminded of all the good things people said about Dr Thorn, as well as his own confidence. I also had lots of good ideas about primary. I figured I wasn't going to get revelation about primary if my time on earth was over!

Going in to surgery was an experience. I thought I'd be terrified, shaking, and bawling. But as I tried to keep hymns and primary songs in my head. I was able to stay calm. (Brigham gave me a blessing Sunday, so that helped a lot.)

I had heard that waking up after surgery was a surge of relief, and I guess I was relieved, because I was in a joking mood. I was super groggy, but told Brigham I had my colon removed, and when he would go into surgery he would get his heart repaired. I don't think the nurse laughed. She didn't know Brigham's medical history. I didn't think it was funny either, but Brig and Dawn did.

The pain has been mostly pressure. There is was lot of swelling in my chest.  They make you breath deeply and it hurt. But yesterday I got the drainage tubes out of my chest, and now I'm on motrin, so the swelling is finally gone.

I'm sure this is boring, and I'm on drugs so it might not make sense, but it's my journal, and how I am right now, so no editing later.

I have a new respect for nurses now. I almost want to be one, until they have to empty my catheter bag. Oh, fun fact, they gave me 20 lbs of fluid before surgery. And I didn't need blood! My heart is working!

The nurses think it's weird to have a patient that works hard to get better. I get my breathing up to 1500 and ask to walk 5 laps around ICU. I know my age makes a big difference, but they said that gender does too. Their biggest wimps are the 22 year old men. Whenever they have a young man they argue to get out of being his nurse.

So lots of questions answered in this experience.
1. Why we got a "not yet" answer on if we should have a baby. The nurses can't believe I survived the first two.
2. Why an inexperienced, unqualified girl was made primary president. The nurses also can't believe my only symptom was palpitations. It's usually migraines, blood clots, stroke, or death. The stress of primary saved me. So, Bishop, you can get someone who will do a good job now!