A couple of days ago I thought this was the longest couple of weeks of my life. But now I'm starting to settle in to this lazy mode. I worry I may never come out of it. I've forgotten how to work. We might have to hire a house keeper/nanny.
Does forgetting for a split second ruin a week's worth of healing? I let the dog out, open the sliding door, pull too hard, too fast, and now I'm back to square one. Well, not quite, but it just feels like I'm not healing as fast as I should be. I'm no good at being a cripple. I feel like I'm wasting the efforts of my family and friends who do so much for us.
I'm so happy to be done with my first two weeks. The shifting of bone against bone is gone. Pain is under control. Everything is great! In two weeks I'll be able to lift a whopping 10 pounds! That's pretty much anything in the kitchen and laundry. I'm excited to not be a burden.
I'm actually feeling good today. I've had some bad days, but today was great. I went to my first cardiac rehab appointment. It felt so good to exercise again! Although they made me go slow and only work my legs. It still felt good
I want to give a big thanks to everyone who has helped us. This time of year is so busy for everyone, but especially for Brigham. His workload at UPS during the holidays is crazy and he's had deadlines at his architectural job too. Thank you for everything!!!
Excruciating pain this morning.
1. Do not go off pain killers just because you feel good. Because:
a) You have to sleep on your back in a reclined position and cannot adjust yourself. This gets painful. You do not sleep. Your muscles tighten into horrible knots. You wake in intense pain. Stay on drugs.
b) Strong pain killers take away the need for a good morning stretch. You know the kind that is involuntary and usually feels so good. These stretches are bad for broken sternums. I'd gotten the shifting of bone against bone to stop. Now it's back. A week's worth of healing down the tube.
c) Pain pills make you tired. Sleep makes you heal.
2. Realize that the doctor is going to wrap your sternum with wire. This is permanent. If you have a sensitivity to nickel tell your doctor. There is nothing worse than being allergic to something that will never go away. I'm not sure if this is my problem yet. All I know is I was miserable this morning. Took pain pills and an allergy pill just in case.
3. I should have been holding my heart pillow during all movements to speed healing. I should have been informed of this upon discharge.
I'm doing a little better each day. Only 3 more weeks until I can drive again, lift more than 5 pounds, and raise my hands over my head!
I am married to an angel. I used to think my husband was not the least bit romantic. I was wrong. I just didn't know the meaning of the word. Romantic is when he loves you so much he wants to do everything for you. When he uses the softest voice to wake you up for pain meds and helps you get up so you don't get blood clots. When he thanks you for being nice because it's the middle of the night, even though he's tired and had to wake up too. When you have to convince him that washing the table won't hurt. When he carries a recliner up the stairs, throws his back out, and tries to hide it do you don't feel bad. Love this man.
A: Are you sleeping on my bed or your bed?
B: My bed, because it's more wider. (?)
Dora the Explorer DS game: Say backpack! Louder! Say backpack!
B: Backpack
N: Bridger, you can say anything
A: Really?
N: Yeah, one time I said, sooo-she!
I wish we had sushi.
Sunday night, after fast and testimony meeting, Natalynn said she wanted to fast and pray for me to get better. Prayer does work, by the way. It's been scientifically proven and it's helped me tremendously. Thank you all very much!
I'm doing a little better each day. My husband won't let me do anything! They gave us a very serious talk before releasing me about what will happen if I lift anything or move suddenly. Brigham is following their every word, love him, but driving me nuts! I guess he likes me or something.
The kids are so sweet to me. They give me the softest hugs and love to help me.
My family and friends are the absolute best. I have more offers of help than I know what to do with. Thank you everyone! Love you all
I woke up Tuesday morning and prayed. I was reminded of all the good things people said about Dr Thorn, as well as his own confidence. I also had lots of good ideas about primary. I figured I wasn't going to get revelation about primary if my time on earth was over!
Going in to surgery was an experience. I thought I'd be terrified, shaking, and bawling. But as I tried to keep hymns and primary songs in my head. I was able to stay calm. (Brigham gave me a blessing Sunday, so that helped a lot.)
I had heard that waking up after surgery was a surge of relief, and I guess I was relieved, because I was in a joking mood. I was super groggy, but told Brigham I had my colon removed, and when he would go into surgery he would get his heart repaired. I don't think the nurse laughed. She didn't know Brigham's medical history. I didn't think it was funny either, but Brig and Dawn did.
The pain has been mostly pressure. There is was lot of swelling in my chest. They make you breath deeply and it hurt. But yesterday I got the drainage tubes out of my chest, and now I'm on motrin, so the swelling is finally gone.
I'm sure this is boring, and I'm on drugs so it might not make sense, but it's my journal, and how I am right now, so no editing later.
I have a new respect for nurses now. I almost want to be one, until they have to empty my catheter bag. Oh, fun fact, they gave me 20 lbs of fluid before surgery. And I didn't need blood! My heart is working!
The nurses think it's weird to have a patient that works hard to get better. I get my breathing up to 1500 and ask to walk 5 laps around ICU. I know my age makes a big difference, but they said that gender does too. Their biggest wimps are the 22 year old men. Whenever they have a young man they argue to get out of being his nurse.
So lots of questions answered in this experience.
1. Why we got a "not yet" answer on if we should have a baby. The nurses can't believe I survived the first two.
2. Why an inexperienced, unqualified girl was made primary president. The nurses also can't believe my only symptom was palpitations. It's usually migraines, blood clots, stroke, or death. The stress of primary saved me. So, Bishop, you can get someone who will do a good job now!
I had a pre-surgery appointment today, and asked lots of questions. My defect is 1.9 cm, about 3/4 of an inch. It's considered large, but that's not the reason surgery is necessary. It has no border, so if they were to use a device closure (scope), the device would fail. At that point surgery would be necessary, and it becomes a higher risk.
I've done some research online. The doctor is experienced, and I've only read good things about him. I've read some medical journals that backs up what he said about the border problem. Brigham actually grew up with Dr. Thorne's nurse, and she promises I'm in good hands.
The surgery is scheduled for Tuesday, November 29.
I feel good about this, it's the right decision, but I'm scared. Prayers are appreciated and needed.
I told her lots of clues like, "figure out where the 6 goes in this box" and she had fun!
Bridger and I cleaned the kids bedroom while Chinnie was at school. She walked in and said, "It looks like a real bedroom!" What did it look like before? "A pile of toys"
On November 4th I was referred to a heart specialist for heart palpitations. I had an echo which showed a hole between my left and right atria (atrial septal defect). They were almost positive it would require surgery. On November 15 I had a transesophageal echocardiogram (ultrasound down the throat, ouch) that confirmed.
ASD is a birth defect. Most ASD's can be fixed my scope. Mine is too large. The hole has been causing my right atrium to enlarge, and if left untreated could cause stoke or blood clots in the lungs. I will be having open heart surgery the week after thanksgiving. My heart will be stopped, sternum cut, all the fun stuff. It will be at St. Mark's hospital, with a stay of 3-5 days. But on the bright side, it's not a risky surgery, and I should be fairly normal by Christmas, not that I'm normal in the first place, haha.
The stress in my life has been a blessing in disguise. If it hadn't been for my calling at church and kids, I probably wouldn't have felt any symptoms. The Lord has been taking good care of me, something good is going to come out of this. I'm so thankful for my faith, my family, and UPS's health insurance!
Hope that answers most of your questions.
Background info: In Garfield, the Movie, Garfield says to John, "you're not only my owner, you're my primary caregiver." Today Bridger said, "You're not only my owner, you're my primary president!"
He's so curious about everything! He wants to know what makes cars stop and go. How the vacuum works. What that part on the mop does. How do DVDs work. I really don't know, but he sparks my curiosity as well.
Today I was diverting my thoughts away from surgery by vacuuming and mopping. Bridger was my super super helper. He said, "it's like...it's like we're friends and we help each other!" I love this boy and the way he can help me look beyond my problems and see what really matters. The trivial things in life doesn't matter as much our relationships, and the time we spend with them. Love you Bridger Boy.
"As I get older then I can get glasses, right?" As I? Why does he speak so well sometimes, but he still says "amn' t"? I love hearing him say "I amn't going to..."
Being a parent is hard. I have great kids and it's still hard. We've been taking a great parenting class. It's all about the feel-good, boost-your-child's-self-esteem, western parenting stuff. I agreed with it.
Then I started reading Battle Hymn Of The Tiger Mother. It's about the super strict, force-them-to-achieve-so-they-can-boost-their-own-self-esteem, goal oriented, chinese style parenting. I agreed with it.
How do I decide which style to favor when they are so opposite? I like them both. Do I just go straight down the center?
The answer came during church. Christ is our teacher, our leader. Do what He would do. Simple. Be an example. He always used open, honest, loving communication. He taught and persuaded instead of commanding and ordering. Above all, He served, He loved.
A: Where is the wind? I can't see it.
B: It's hiding. Ackshewie (actually) it's camouflaged.
Bridger talked in his sleep, "Once upon a time..."
And when he woke up he told me he had a dream about a cave and bears and a big house up to the sky and mountains.
"I'll have to wash hands." -Bridger. I guess he talks in his sleep a lot when he's sick.
B: This orange doesn't even have any bones! Acshewie, it's quite good
N: I love you more than love
A: How was preschool?
B: We learned... I don't remember... Fingers are phalanges, toes are too!!
On a sad note, Natalynn's two new bottom teeth are not looking very promising. Her first was a crooked shark tooth. The second is 90 degrees away from being perfect. Once again, I am so thankful for UPS's insurance! And so thankful to have a husband that works his bum off.
N: Do you know what alliteration is? (then goes on to correctly define the word)
Conference has been fun this year. We did conference bingo for the first time and it did it's job of making the kids pay attention. The month of April was referenced and Bridger said, "They're talking to you mom! They said April!"
Angry Birds was talked about, which made Natalynn very excited, so I explained that they were teaching not to play it too, too much.
My favorite quote went something like, "Be as quick to kneel as you are to text."
I love conference! Can't wait for tomorrow!
It's about time! The last family pictures we had was when I was prego with Bridger. I had the most difficult time narrowing down the pictures to my favorites. Our photographer, Nicole Cropper, was awesome! She's great with kids, and very affordable! Thanks Nicole!!
"I want to show Mamah that I can fly for zero seconds!" Natalynn, talking about how she jumps off the couch.
"I won a candy for sister. I wanted to win the teddy bear for sister." Bridger really loves his sister.
Did you see the elk? "Yes, there were many of them." -Bridger (How did they learn to speak so properly?)
Chinnie can now whistle. She's very excited.
I still like to pretend to bite Bridger, like when a baby is so chubby that you just have to bite him. I was chewing on his pudgy little arm when he said, "I don't want you to make me into a gummy worm. I don't want you to make me into a food."
When Bridger comes in to snuggle in the early morning, I squeeze him good. He tells me not to squish him, so I tell him if he's in my bed he gets squished, or he can go back to his own bed. "Ok, you can squish me."
Chinnie tells me she has 7 loose teeth.
"Daddy, there's a lake of milk on the table!" -Chinnie
A: Do any kids at your school say bad words?
N: Yes
What does it start with?
"N"
(gasp!) What did they say?!
Knife
"There are 2 Ethans in my class. Ethan M. and Ethan H. Ethan M. is cute. Ethan H. is the cutest in my class. He's really really really really really REALLY cute!"
She tied Ethan H's shoes for him. He said thank you.
She said she was going to tell him he was the cutest, and he would say thank you. I can't bring myself to follow up on that. I don't want to encourage this "relationship" by asking too many questions, but I still want to know what happens with this little romance. Is it time to give the, no boyfriends until you're 16, talk?
I'm just glad she isn't calling him "beautiful" like she did the full grown man on a movie she watched.
The tooth came out! It's the first time the tooth fairy will be coming here.
This is also the day Chinnie learned how to start out herself on a two wheeled bike.
Bridger had a great first day at preschool! He had to take his backpack and his lunchbox, though there was no need. He had no problem leaving me or sister, which is a little surprising because he never goes anywhere alone.
But he loved his first day! His teacher, Miss Melissa, said he had no patience for coloring, which is SO Bridger. He talked about his bike and matching black helmet during introductions. He loved all the songs.
He had told us so many fun details. We didn't expect our boy to be more talkative than our daughter, but he sure is!
The only bad part of preschool for Bridger is that it's only two days per week. He wishes it was as often as kindergarten.
Pictures coming soon
Shoe tying. Loose teeth. Bike riding (no training wheels). Kindergarten starting. Rope jumping. Phone number memorizing.
Why can't this girl just slow down for a second! Stay little for a few minutes longer please.
P.S. Just found out that chini in hindi means sugar. How cute is that for a nick name? And she made it up when uncle Isaiah was in India!
She really wanted to take the bus, so I followed along. 
They let the parents come in for introductions and backpack show and tell. http://www.vimeo.com/28786076She loved her first day and told us so many details. This is huge for Natalynn because she keeps things to herself.
She made 3 friends, but doesn't know their names yet. She shared her cheese stick and got a cheeto in return. her snacks took up all the playground time so tomorrow she wants only half of a peach. She played computer games involving mice and the "destruction" of a house.
Today was a great day and she can't believe that she gets to go back "every day except Saturday and Sunday!"
Meanwhile, Bridger and I got to have a mommy-son date. We watched sister get off the bus and the show and tell, then went to Wheeler Farm for bike rides, playground, and animal fun. As sister was driving away he said he "really loves Natalynn" and in the car he said nobody was in there. Apparently, I'm nobody.
Daddy made sure to be there to see her get on and off the bus, which brought his work time from 12 hours down to a piddley 8. Such a cute daddy.
Bridger was getting a bit annoyed with all the kindergarten talk, and REALLY wants to start preschool. We tried to talk up our fun outing. He is a blast to hang out with. We took his bike to Wheeler Farm. He got to call the shots and made plenty of opportunities to get little bits of his snack out of his new police car lunch box while at the farm. Love that boy.
Bridger was eating candy and coughing. "I got another bless you. I think I'm allergic to candy." Then he keeps eating candy.
July 2011
Natalynn's creativity shows when she has forgotten the name of something. For example, "eye peel" instead of eye lid.
She wants to keep hair, teeth, peach pits, and the latest, fingernail clippings. Can't say I'm surprised, I used to collect candy wrappers.
Dinosaurs were at the zoo this year. They're life sized. They move and make noise. Some spit water!
Elijah got picked to volunteer in the bird show!
This year has been crazy for rain. We've had the most beautiful lightning storms and the most exciting downpours. Afterwards the kids like to play in the puddles
And play with snails
And just be silly
